Gillian McKeith eats shit and we love it!

What the fuck does Dr Poo think she is doing? I have always thought that Gillian McKeith is a few bits of sweetcorn short of a really good shit but, fuck me! Last night's "I'm a Celebrity" reached new heights of barmy old cack from the nation's favourite, NOT A REAL DOCTOR.

Let's take a look at how this crazy, old, shit poker arrived in the jungle. Gillian McKeith made a name for herself making up pseudoscience about what is nothing more than turds in boxes. She then went on to fool ratings hungry TV pond life to let her onto our tellies. Next, she was exposed as being a complete charlatan and NOT A REAL DOCTOR. Finally, Dr Poo gets in a bit of a kerfuffle on Twitter and makes herself out to be even more of a nut job, if that were possible.

Now, such a person, if they were sane, would probably not go onto a TV program where the general public, who they made into turd staring morons, get to vote on whether they eat shit or not, but Gillian McKeith does! Then in the first few minutes she tells the viewing public that she'll faint at the first sight of a fly.... McKeith may just as well've bent over and said "fist my scrawny ring piece." because that is what is going to happen.

What in a box full of bugs' name is going through her shit obsessed brain? Can she really be that desperate or greedy for cash? Is she so deluded that she thinks the public actually liker her and will be endeared by her screeching, twitching, attention seeking train wreck of a personality?

She is clearly mental, no really mental. Surely, ITV have a duty of care? Or maybe they just want to to give us the chance to see what McKeith's shit looks like? I have an image in my mind of Dr Poo with a box full of creepy-crawlies on her head, running about screaming and spraying shit all over Lembit Opik, while Shaun Ryder pisses himself laughing. Now, I would pay to see that.

Tonight they are going to bury her in a box full of bugs and rats (which will, if she is lucky and telling the truth, make her faint). She will clearly go ape-shit (to coin a phrase) and hopefully evacuate her bowels. She will scream "get me out of here!" However, viewers all over our great country will be hoping they don't let her out until she shits and vomits her pelvis and vital organs out and her eyes start to bleed.

Of course in another world we would be ashamed of our lust to see, what is essentially a mental old sack of bones being tortured on telly. But fuck it - it's Gillan McKeith, she is deluded and getting paid. So empty in the cockroaches and spiders!

Next week they are water boarding Lembit Opik until his brain explodes - that's going to fucking brilliant!

So, dear ITV can you please fix it for me to see Jeremy Clarkson spit roasted by two Shetland ponies, thank you.